


Tony Stark and Spider-Man Answer the Web's Most Searched Questions | WIRED

by babochu



Series: how the internet came to love spiderman and peter parker [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Paparazzi, Precious Peter Parker, Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 14:52:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19153261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babochu/pseuds/babochu
Summary: “Hello, I’m Tony Stark-”“And I’m Spider-Man.”“And today we’re going to be doing the Wired Autocomplete Interview.”It’s Spider-Man who speaks up afterwards voice slightly distorted to hide his identity. He’s in his suit, mask and all and though it feels a little odd compared to Tony’s full on suit it’s all the more endearing because of it.“Let’s get started.”





	Tony Stark and Spider-Man Answer the Web's Most Searched Questions | WIRED

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CompletelyFigurative](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CompletelyFigurative/gifts).



> i'm so sorry this took so long to get out! 
> 
> hopefully it is worth the wait i'm really great for all the suggestions. it really does mean a lot when you guys give them! 
> 
> sorry for the grammar errors, there's probably a ton but i'll be editing tonight once i'm off work so it will be better then promise. 
> 
> please enjoy, and once again sorry for the wait!
> 
> And thanks to CompletelyFigurative for the suggestion! :) I liked a lot of them and will be taking more!

Tony sits up straight in the chair, blinking out at the cast before him.

 

There are streams of light blaring down on him, what seem like more cameras then needed twisting around and all pointed towards him. A few people are tinkering with them, some directing others as they tinker and Tony has a bit of confusion lacing around him.

 

He’s pretty sure from what he’s seen on this interview show that’s there's only been one camera angle.

 

He goes along with it though.

 

“Tony,” The soft clack of heels hitting the floor come from the left of him and he sends a curious look Peppers way as she comes along beside him looking professional as ever even though he’s sure she has more important things to be doing besides managing this interview for him.

 

“Hey, sweet-cheeks.”

 

“Don’t.”

 

“Noted.” He nods up at her to continue whatever she was going to say and she sighs.

 

“Spider-Man should be arriving in about five minutes. We’re going to do a quick brief again of the legal documents attached to this whole-” She gestures to the set of interview with an unhappy look on her face. “Mess.”

 

Tony is sure he owes her a hundred date nights and vacation hours for all of this. “You really didn’t have to come manage this Pep. Swear. I would have handled it like the adult I am.”

 

The look she gives him leaves no room for belief and he plays hurt by pushing his hand to his heart.

 

“Really Tony, I know you probably would’ve. But considering how a little Tweet turned into all this-” she gestures again. “I need to make sure that this doesn’t get any bigger.” She leans a little closer to him, good enough distance to whisper into his ear even though most of the crew is a few feet away and there haven’t been any microphones put on his person. “And it’s only because of Peter and, how good this has all been for PR really, that I’m allowing this.”

 

He frowns, though that too is exaggerated. Tony’s never been big on these kind of things. His appearance with the public means little to him- he’s been the biggest asshole on earth for years straight in the public eye and then in some ways helping terrorist- though he was quick to nip that in the butt. His reputation has gotten better with his relationship with Spider-Man being placed there out in the open.

 

And he knows, for Pepper most of this hostile ‘I’ll kick your ass to nowhere’ energy comes from that protective instinct in her since Peter still is just a kid. The media is shit and can turn on anyone in an instant. And Peter would honestly never deserve that.

 

He nods his head at her when she gives him another look. “I got it, I got it. Promise. Plus we already had everyone apart of the interview process sign our forms so if anything does happen,” The look on her face makes him quickly rectify that with, “which _nothing_ will happen, but if anything does we’re covered. I wouldn’t do anything that’d put a target on his back.”

 

Which is true- although this whole entire thing of being internet famous must not do much favors. Spider-Mans popularity has skyrocketed and Tony’s seen new enemies seem to form out of thin air because of it.

 

However all this, internet fame and what-not was something that seemed to light his eyes up. After all the money their Gucci collection made and was donated to charity Peter had practically cried at the announcement and Tony’s heart had warmed when he’d even made hand made letters and gift baskets for as many kids as possible along with the news that’d their families would be getting as much help as needed for the treatment of their kids.

 

And while Tony was sure Peter found all of it fun, he was more than sure that Peter was more excited to see where his help could go with this new found fame.

 

-

 

“Hello, I’m Tony Stark-”

 

“And I’m Spider-Man.”

 

“And today we’re going to be doing the Wired Autocomplete Interview.”

 

It’s Spider-Man who speaks up afterwards voice slightly distorted to hide his identity. He’s in his suit, mask and all, and though it feels a little odd compared to Tony’s full on suit it’s all the more endearing because of it.

 

“Let’s get started.”

 

The screen shifts to a blank white background with text, _‘Autocomplete suggests the most common searches on the internet.’_ It states simply. _‘So Wired asked real life Superheroes the internet's most burning questions.’_

 

“Alright I’m starting I guess,” Tony holds the big white board in his hands with the google search question, “Is Tony Stark…” He drags out the last syllable of his name as he pulls off the white tape covering up the question. “Dead?”

 

He gives the camera a look and it feels like there isn’t much to add that. Spider-Man snorts at that and it turns into a full blown laugh.

 

“I’m sure that whenever I do die you’ll know.” He says and gets a hit on the shoulder by the boy beside him but he ignores it for glaring at the question. “Why is this the most searched thing about me in this context? That’s...morbid.”

 

The video cuts to the next scene, as he’s starting to pull the next piece of tape off the next question. “Is Tony Stark...married?”

 

It’s obvious you can see the change in his  demeanor so fast. He smiles just a little as he presents the engagement ring on his finger. “Not yet, but soon. We’re thinking beach wedding, maybe a spring thing. It’s not really up to me though.”

 

“Please no winter wedding.” Spider-Man says besides him, already like he’s shivering. “The cold is not a spiders best friend.”

 

“Now that you say that I think we’ll be going the winter wonderland route-” Spider-Man punches him again on the shoulder before letting out a laugh.

 

“I’m serious! How am I gonna be the flower boy if I’m frozen to death?”

 

“Aw, man, right- I can’t afford anyone else either. Guess it’s gonna be one of those.”

 

The screen cuts again however this time it’s Spider-Man holding the white board and pulling the tape, still with Tony Stark’s questions. “Is Tony Stark...bi?!”

 

The camera zooms into Spider-Man who’s eyes widen at the camera before squinting over at Tony.

 

“Why yes, curious users of the internet I am. I shouldn’t be surprised this was asked though.”

 

“I’m not. But I’m sorry to say now to all of you, he’s engaged-” Spider-Man lifts up Tony’s hand with his ring to show the screen as it zooms in. “It’s uncomfortable for me seeing interviewers try to flirt with you still. Or all the comments you get on twitter after I reply to you-” He lets out a little disturbed sound and pretends to gag.

 

“It’s not _that_ bad, kid.”

 

“Well, your like my very very old dad so-”

 

“I’m not _that_ old.”

 

“Yeah sure…”

 

The next clip shows Spider-Man getting handed his own white board. He seems excited as he takes it into his hands, feet tapping at the ground.

 

“Okay, this is- Does Spider-Man...have six legs?”

 

There’s a small silence as Spider-Man pretends to count his legs, seemingly really focused on the task before he confirms with a nod of his head. “I counted six, so I think six. Maybe more.”

 

“You’re ridiculous.” Tony says, with no bite to the words.

 

“But you love me and all six of my legs.”

 

With the screen jump cutting to the next question as he pulls the tape he seems to have a little difficulty as it gets stuck. “Does Spider-Man...something, something, something.” He laughs a little as a crew worker comes along to see if they can get the tape off.

 

“Sorry, sorry.”

 

“It’s not a day if he doesn’t mess something up.” Tony snickers, drinking at his own water.

 

“He says that and yet if I recall I am always there to fix what you mess up.”

 

“Name one instance.”

 

“That one time, I fought that vulture guy-” He points and Tony’s face stiffens. “He was gonna steal your stuff and I stopped him!”

 

“Yeah and how many times did I have to help you?”

 

There’s a beat of silence and with a smug look Tony looks into the camera. “Exactly.”

 

It’s soon enough that the next question comes, camera panning in on Spider-Man. “Sorry we had a little bit of technical difficulties but we’re back.” He looks down at the questions, “Does Spider-Man live in Avengers Tower? Uh, no I do not.”

 

He gives a look at Tony Stark who blinks, then startles a little at the insinuation that seems to made at the way Spider-Man’s eyes squint at him. “Don’t act like I didn’t offer.”

 

“You haven’t offered since.”

 

“Would you like to live in the tower?”

 

“No thanks.”

 

Tony dramatically points over to Spider-Man. “You see?”

 

“Alright let's do the next one.” Spider-Man rips off the last piece of tape and looks a little startled. “Does Spider-Man have Instagram?”

 

“Well, Spidey, why don’t you share with the class?”

 

If anything, even under the mask he looks a little sheepish. “I keep getting people on twitter telling me to make one. I just don’t know what I’d do with it.”

 

The camera cuts, however this time he has a phone- a Stark phone. He plays around on it for a second before he shows it towards the screen. An Instagram account is shown. No profile picture or any bio, just a name of ‘ _unofficialspidey’_ is shown.

 

“There, this is my Instagram’s debut. I’ll even post a picture of the set after we’re done. So only the people that watch this video can follow me.”

 

“Oh, brownie points. Nice.”

 

“We should get brownies afterwards.” Spider-Man says.

 

Tony nods, “Sure thing, kid.”

 

The video is cut and now Tony is holding a new board. The question stems around “Does Tony Stark…”

 

He rips of the first piece of tape- and seems to have the same problem as Spider-Man had when he’d ripped off the tape.

 

“You see! It’s not just me. It’s the tape!” Spider-Man points at it with a laugh.

 

“Well at least I can read the question. Does Tony Stark...have any children?”

He looks over at Spider-Man for a moment and it seems to be a moment too long before he looks back at the question and shakes his head. “Nope.” He says all while popping the ‘p’.

 

“I think you’d be good with kids.” Spider-Man adds.

 

“No amount of flattery would get me to let you babysit.”

 

“You’re gonna let Happy babysit? He’s terrifying.”

 

“He’s terrifying to a super-powered _man_ like you?” Tony squints his eyes at him.

 

“You’re his employer so you don’t get the death glares in the rear-view mirror like I do.”

 

There’s a genuine laugh from Tony and before he peels off the next piece of tape and Spider-Man whispers out, “please don’t let him see this.”

 

“Does Tony Stark...still sell weapons?” There’s a pause but Tony doesn’t seem as affected by it.

 

“Not in the last ten plus years.” Is his only answer to that. “And never again.”

 

The last board of questions comes and Spider-Man is eager to receive them. If you could see his face grinning he probably would be.

 

“Last one!” He lets out a whoop as he places the board on his legs and reaches to peel the tape of. “What is Spider-Man…’s age? Oh I see what we’re doing here!” He gives a look to the staff though from the view of the camera there isn’t any indication what that look could be with his mask on as it is.

 

“Trying to dig information out of me. Anyways I’m around the twelve to thirty age range.” He shakes his hand to give off a ‘so-so’ motion before the camera zooms in the face of Tony who nods along with that.

 

Slipping off the next piece of tape he waits to answer the question fully, “What is Spider-Man’s ethnicity.”

 

Tony gives off a smirk at that. “In the big old New York you could be anyone.”

 

“I really could. Anyone could the wear mask honestly.” He says, with a shrug. “Doesn’t matter much, as long as I’m helping people who cares?”

 

“Exactly.” Tony sends the camera a wink and something of a proud smile as he glances back over at Spider-Man.

 

The last question isn’t much of anything really. He peels off the piece of tape and the question of “What is Spider-Man’s real name.” Appears. He laughs at that, loudly bellowing from his stomach before he shakes his head.

 

“I don’t even think I need to dignify that with anything. Obviously it’s Spider-Man. Says it on my birth certificate and my driver's license.”

 

“I can confirm that actually.” Tony speaks up the camera zooming in to him. “I’ve seen his documents and that’s his actual, birth given name.”

 

The screen cuts and Tony and Spider-Man are now empty handed. “That was a journey. It’s always nice to know what people want to know about you. Especially those who think I’m dead.”

 

“He’s never going to get over this.” Spider-Man says with a laugh in his voice. “He’s gonna talk about it the whole entire car ride.”

 

“Well you won’t hear, you’ll be swinging home.” Tony says as he stands and Spider-Man jumps up too.

 

“What? No, I swung here already that tires your arms out you know? Plus I thought we were getting brownies!”

 

“Maybe next time you’ll consider being nicer to your “very very old dad”.

 

Spider-Man looks at the camera as it zooms in. “Hey you said it not me.”

 

And with that the video ends, fading to white.

 

-

 

**Jeremy Price**

 

I’m pretty sure this confirms Tony Stark is Spider-Man’s very very old dad.

 

_11.2k likes_

 

**htsdrv**

 

Spider-Man being the flower boy at their wedding? This is the best thing I’ve heard all day.

 

_7k likes_

 

**lys98**

 

“Does Tony Stark have any children?” Tony proceeds to stare at Spider-Man like a proud dad.

Also Tony Stark: NOPEEE

 

_4.5k  likes_

 

**Bbbbbb**

 

Thanks Wired. I’m going to be watching this video until I’m on my death bed.

 

_60 likes_

 

**destroy me**

 

so spider-man is between 12-30 years old. we're getting closer to cracking the secret guys!

 

_700 likes_


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